Robin Christina Lea was born in a military facility somewhere on the Pacific Ocean, sometime between 1969 and 1983. As an infant she was shipped quickly and stealthily back across the United States, lying dormant most of the way in order to remain inconspicuous. Willing to make any sacrifice to protect their daughter, Robin's parents moved from one desolate Arkansas backwater to another. But finally, thanks to financial incentives and a little brother who was much more difficult to keep hidden, they were forced to settle in Little Rock and fortify their position in the suburban area known as Otter Creek.

In the twisted streets of Otter Creek (which were mostly named after trees or shrubs) young Robin was forced to grow up quickly, often escaping from the sorrows of her tragic suburban life by drawing or writing stories. Her few friends were either insane or short. Both, in many cases. But Robin persevered and grew into the incredibly intelligent, stunningly beautiful young woman that seven out of ten random bypassers, when confronted with a questionairre on the subject, still refuse to admit she is.

Finally graduating from high school and moving on, Robin enrolled in a university which should have remained nameless. There, she spent too much time in the musty old library studying the feasability of artificial humanoid life, and not enough time studying her major, psychology... or creative writing, depending on when you asked. Robin also spent some time exploring the cliffs, not answering her phone, and suddenly leaving the room without explanation. Although musically inept herself, Robin was able to blend in with the band geeks because she could play Dungeons & Dragons.

Once jettisoned into the rather implausible world of the modern job-market, Robin found herself a series of fairly ordinary jobs, teaching herself a number of computer skills along the way in order to make herself a more marketable prospect and hopefully bring her world domination plans somewhat closer to fruition. Also during this time, she quickly learned that her irreverent sense of humor and tendency to use office stationary for pranks endeared her to no one.

And eventually she decided that this biography had already rambled along too far, although it was by no means caught up to the present. I mean, there's nothing at all about the comic book store, the long-lost tome, Les Barbes Bizarre, or Cinco. This stuff just gets kinda boring after a while, y'know?

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